Bring Your Sexy Back

Speaking from experience here, the number one reason my libido has dropped over the years is because I just don't feel "it" anymore.  Not sex, I feel that just fine, but what I'm talking about is SEXY.  I just don't feel sexy anymore; Rarely, if ever, do I look at myself in the mirror and go, "Damn.  I'd do me."  How about you?  When I was preggers with Ladybug I thought I'd be this way, but to my surprise (and delight) I went back to pre-pregnancy size and shape and was delighted in my body's ability to "bounce back", so to speak.  Now, post-Butterfly-pregnancy, I have not been near as lucky.  The weight is gone, but the stretched out skin simply has no place to go and it leaves me feeling saggy and baggy and oh-so-lacking in the "I'm too sexy for my shirt" feeling that I used to feel in the bedroom.  It's not even just the physical aspect, it's mentally as well.  I'm so burdened by the lingering depression and stress and the everyday what-to-do's and what-didn't-happens...  It's overwhelming.  And I know I'm not the only one.  So many women I know feel the same way, I mean if you don't feel comfortable in your own skin, then it's pretty hard to feel sexually confident in the bedroom.  True story.


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One place I've found that really gets into the psychology of "feeling sexy" is this article at RedBook Mag Online called "Get Your Sexy Back".  They offer 21 ways to "tap into your sensual self".  Some of my favorites are:
5. Ditch the sweats. "If sweats have become your standard after-work uniform, then you are unlikely to feel sexy," says Sari Locker, the author of The Complete Idiot's Guide to Amazing Sex. You don't have to wear fishnets, "but buy some clothes that make you feel sexy when you're lounging, even if that's just a silky camisole and leggings."
     I'm the world's worst with this - I wear the same two pairs of blue jeans day in and day out (I do wash them.  Occasionally...), and if I don't have to work or go to town that day, my ass is happy sitting around in some baggy plaid or flannel pj bottoms and a tank top with no bra, often times with messy unwashed hair and yesterday's makeup.  I'm working on that!!!! *sigh* Moving on.

9. Make your most beautiful feature pop. Play up your eyes with a new eyeliner, or try a different gloss on your lips. Or, if you normally go natural, put on a little concealer. "When you feel beautiful, you feel sensual," says Debbie Mandel, the author of Turn On Your Inner Light. Take the extra three or four minutes to primp yourself and feel pretty — just for you
     This is something I used to do before "quality time", every time.  Fresh out of the shower, I would dab a little concealer under my eyes, a tad mascara and some nude-colored shadow (for shimmer), or maybe some light blush, and always chap stick for that fresh wet-lipped look.  I never do this anymore.  Again, working on that.

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10. Buy new underthings. Throw away those ripped, faded, you've-had-them-for-four-years granny panties and invest in some new underwear. The sexier, the better — but G-strings aren't required. New bikinis, boy shorts, or even basic briefs can make you feel special.
      Definitely my favorite.  A sexy new pair of panties can work wonders for my self esteem.  It doesn't have to be lacy or frilly or crotchless.  Something that matches my sense of style and my personality, but that's new and "cute" (cute is a relative term- take it the way you define it).  This is so important!!!

17. Change it up. Take an art class. Or book a last-minute weekend getaway. "Novelty is the greatest aphrodisiac," Gardos says. Switch up your routine to create spontaneity. "When you do something out of the ordinary, you're taking yourself off of autopilot, which creates excitement in your life," he says. "Excitement is always sexy."

One big thing is to stop tearing yourself down about that flabby tummy and stretch marks, stop beating yourself up over misplacing your keys and being late to work, or forgetting to pack the fruit slices in the kid's lunch for school.  You are your own worst enemy, and when it comes time to cuddle up next to you, those things are absolutely, positively guaranteed not to be on his mind.  He is just thinking about you, all of you, and how you make him feel, physically and probably mentally and emotionally as well.  So, if he's not thinking about all those other "little" things, then why should you?  Let it go and live in that moment!!!

I found another really great article from EverydayHealth.com here.

Since Butterfly's birth and passing, my relationship with the STBH (Soon-To-Be-Hubs, aka Mark) has strengthened immensely, however my sexual prowess has become nearly non-existent.  So tonight I am challenging myself, and hopefully you will do the same.  My vow is to try three of these things listed in these two articles over the next week and see what that does to increase my desire for some under cover lovin'.  Let me know how it works for y'all!!!