December 14, 2012 - My Sentiments

   In the midst of this unbelievable tragedy that has taken the nation by surprise, I feel like I should say something.

    While I do know what it's like to lose a child that I loved with all my heart, I cannot fathom the pain these parents and families are in today.  It hurts my heart and scares me when I think that there are people so evil; it seems they really do just want to watch the world burn.  These mothers and fathers, they dressed their son or daughter for school, helped them brush their hair and their teeth, made them breakfast.  Maybe they were running late, maybe they were in a hurry.  They stole a quick kiss and hug, hollared out a quick "Have a good day, I love you" and ran off to conquer the day knowing in their hearts they would see their child again soon.  Truly believing that their children were safe and taken care of and learning new things.

    I found out about this tragedy just after my Ladybug left with her daddy.  She was excited, she was in a hurry.  I stole a quick kiss as she bolted out the door, hollared after her, "I love you baby, have fun and be good."  My heart is heavy with regret that I didn't pull her close and squeeze her before I let her walk out that door.  I'm kicking myself in the ass, thinking "Why? Why didn't I slow her down and look her in the eye and tell her I loved her and I would miss her and to be careful and stay safe...?"  I cannot, nor do I want to, imagine having to feel that way for the rest of my life.  Thinking that my last goodbye to my daughter was hurried and scarce.  It brings tears to my eyes and a heaviness to my heart.

    While the rest of the nation is shaking from what happened, these families will be planning memorials for their children.  They will be faced with decisions no parent should have to make in regards to their child, ever, at any age.  While I am closing my eyes to pray at night, they will be looking in at that empty bedroom and knowing that life has been irrepairably altered forever.  And what is perhaps most heartbreaking, while our children are waking up early on Christmas morning to open gifts, these families will be looking at their trees, presents still underneath- wrapped up tight, ready for little fingers that will never come to pry away the paper and tape to see what lies beneath.

    We should not be using this tragedy as a political strategy or focus point, saying whom should or should not have what.  What we should take away from this is that we are all people, in one nation, under God.  We are the brothers and sisters of those affected by this shooting, and we should keep them in our thoughts and our prayers.  And we should realize how truly blessed we are, each day that we wake up healthy and those we love are blessed to do the same.

    Hug your children when you leave them; Hug your spouse or your parents or your siblings; Hug your friends.  Whether you are going away for 5 minutes or until next Christmas, remember that there is no promise of tomorrow, and the world is changing every day.  Enjoy the moments you have with the people you love, take pictures, hold hands, make memories.  And don't ever, ever take that "I'll see you later" for granted, one day, it just may not come.

~Sheila Boone