Life Ain't Like The Movies - But Sometimes...
Picked Ladybug up from her daddy today. She's been with him since Wednesday afternoon, and I've enjoyed the sleeping in, and the lack of responsibility and chores that ensue when she's away, but I always look forward to picking her up and bringing her back home, where she belongs.
However.
What I don't enjoy is the way she acts right after I pick her up. I actually wonder if it's all in my head, because nobody but me seems to notice. But she acts like Christina, and it annoys the HELL out of me. Backtrack, Christina is her daddy's girlfriend. She's 19 or 20 years old, I don't even remember. Hell, maybe she's 21 or 22 now. Again, don't remember, and honestly, just don't care. She's a kid. Not because she's that much younger than me, I just turned 25. But she has no children of her own, I don't think she's ever been in a serious "grown-up" relationship before. Certainly not one with a child involved in any way. And it shows. She's really good with Aleigh from what I have seen and heard, but it's in a play-date kind of way. I find it hard to believe that she ever directs my child in any way. In my mind, all they do is run around playing and doing whatever it is they want.
Maybe that's not a bad thing. I know how petty it sounds, and I know that I'm the one coming out sounding childish and immature and irresponsible, but I can't help it damnit. I hate that my daughter spends 99% of her time with me, and I am the playmate and the teacher and the disciplinary, but that other 1% of the time she's with this other little girl having fun and doing whatever she wants. I hate it because when it's time to pick her up, she cries. She cries for Christina. Not for her daddy, the person she's there to spend time with and to be with, but for his girlfriend. And I hate that for at least 24 hours after she comes home, she calls me Christina. She corrects herself, and she giggles 'cause she thinks it's just the funniest thing ever, but it makes me so damned tense.
I always thought in the movie, "Stepmom", that Susan Serandon was such a bitch. The way she just wanted those kids to hate their stepmom, the way she did everything she could to drive a wedge between them. And now, I look back, and I'm like "Oh. Damn."
So I tell myself it's not that bad, at least Christina does enjoy having Ladybug around. She enjoys spending time with her and never keeps Thomas away from Ladybug (that I'm aware). And she even keeps Ladybug during the day if Thomas is called in to work while she's with him. My daughter hasn't come back saying curse words or acting like a little demon any more than she would if she had been home that whole time. So I should count my blessings, and be grateful that Thomas has found someone who won't push him away from his responsibilities. And I am. Sort of. But damnit, I'm the mommy, and I'll sulk if I want to. Boom.
girl u are so right stepmom is hard to deal with when my ex had a serious gf i use to hate it for serveral diff reasons one being when ur kid gets that attached an then something happens boom one more person to leave there life an also i couldnt stant the thought of somone else disaplining my baby other then me an no one will ever be mama but me :) great blog .claudia
ReplyDeleteAww, thanks Claudia I appreciate the kudos, and to know I'm not the only selfish woman out there ;) lol
ReplyDeleteI think what you are feeling is normal. It would hurt if my children called me by their dads new gf. It would also bother me that I worked hard at leading my children in the right direction, with discipline and such and they get to have a free for all with the "step mom" However, they are kid(s) (i have two lol im speaking for myself if i was in your situation) and if you only played with her and as a friend rather then a mother, or adult then she would never want to leave you. Its just how it goes, You are doing whats right for your baby and it with that comes good, bad, fun, boring times. xo
ReplyDeleteErin, indeed it does :) I love every minute of it, I really do. But boy do I feel like I'm losing my mind most days! I hate feeling so judgemental of someone, it irks me to the core, but I cannot keep the cattiness to myself or my head would explode. Thus, the blog :) thanks for reading!
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