I Am ___________ (Who Are You?)

So, as I scour the web for countless hours, reading every blog I can find looking for inspiration; to write, to clean, to love, to breathe, to live, to do whatever it is I want to do... I come across a writing prompt that the awesome lady over at You Know It Happens At Your House Too did.  Here's what she did, and what she challenged her readers to do.

Sit down, open up notepad or wordpad of office or whatever document program you use, or grab a pen and paper, or a stone and chisel, whatever, and set a timer for 5 minutes.  Just as she knows, I know that 5 minutes seems like a long time that you could be doing something else, something "more productive" or "more entertaining".  But seriously, it goes by really fast and you'd be surprised what you accomplish in that 5 minutes.  Do it for yourself, it's interesting what you might learn.

So you have your timer set, I want you to complete this sentence as many times as you can in that 5 minutes:  "I Am _________________."

Easy?  Totally.  Enlightening, too.  Do not proofread or edit it.  Just  put down whatever comes to mind during that 5 minutes, just roll with it.  You don't have to share this with me, but I would love for you to do so.  Email me, Private Message me on Facebook, or for the more brave comment right here in the blog or post it directly to My Facebook Page.  I hope you all take the time to do this, and to show how much I love and support all of you, very much, I'm going to post mine, not anonymously, publically, out here in the World Wide Web for all to see.

If anyone does choose to publically share, I request that any and all readers be respectful of whatever is admitted to here.  This is about opening up, freeing yourself from the confines of external opinion and judgement.  It kind of blows that if some ass hat decides to start trolling.  Well!!! Here goes:


I am Sheila.

I am a first-time blogger.

I am a mommy to a crazy, rambunctious, brilliant, and terrifying terroristic 4 year old that makes my heart dance.

I am a mommy to an angel, a sweet perfect little girl that will be 44 minutes old for all eternity.

I am a SURVIVOR of domestic violence- From childhood and a marriage.

I am engaged to a REAL man who treats me, and my daughter, like we are all he could ever need.

I am kind of crazy - Scratch kind of. Read: Bat shit.  It's genetic, and I'm pretty sure my parents worked hard to make me that way.

I was raised in East Texas and taught to say "yes ma'am" "no ma'am" "yes sir" "no sir" and PRAY when life gets tough.

I have failed the people I love, but I have also made them proud.

I am infinitely lazy- I try to do better but that motivation just escapes me.

I hate that I'm so lazy - It's hard to change that about myself, even though I really want to.

I talk too much - And usually when I'm talking I'm ranting about something, but it's because I have values and morals and I don't take those things lightly.

I want my daughter to have every opportunity in the world, and I'm so afraid that I'm going to screw her pretty little head up that sometimes I just try to avoid spending time with her.... Because sometimes I think that she'd be better off for it.

I get angry, and when I'm angry it's hard to shut it off.

I suffer from depression, every day and night, and it's hard not to let myself believe that I am as worthless as I feel most of the time.

I have people who love me more than life itself, and I love them just the same.  And it's scary, but it's beautiful.


So there you have it.  That's who I am, typed in 5 minutes, not edited or changed in any way.  That's me, and that's as real as it gets.

I really hope at least a few of you participate in this-- It's a great way to end a rough day, you don't have to focus on the positive (I didn't) but it's good to throw that reality in there, to accept the good and the bad.  It's kind of my theme of the year, Embracing the Crust and what-not!!!